My Relationship-Reflections + Change

Our Relationship 

As most of you know, I have been dating Bryan Davis (a super amazing guy) since April 11th of this year. We've really enjoyed dating and getting to know one another better throughout our courtship together. On July 18 in Nauvoo, Illinois, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. After a few minutes of standing there in complete shock (did not see it coming), I said yes. I then proceeded to tell him doubts and concerns that I had throughout the course of our courtship together. He then gave me two options, either we proceed as we have been doing before as boyfriend and girlfriend, or we proceed forward as engaged and if something comes up to indicate that we are not supposed to be together, we could break it off. The second option felt so right, so I told him that I would still marry him, which made both of us very happy.

The trip that we went on allowed us to grow closer together, both as a couple and as best friends. We had lots of laughter, tears, games, traveling, and overall, just really good times which I will cherish forever. I came home on August 3rd. Around August 5th, those doubts came back and I started questioning whether or not we were doing the right thing. I felt super confused because of all of the mixed feelings that I had been experiencing and was concerned that he was not feeling the same way. 2-3 weeks later, Bryan started experiencing the same feelings that I was having. My prayer had been that we would be able to move forward with this relationship in the way that God wants us to. His prayer was that I would experience the same promptings that he was having. We feel like we maybe rushed into getting engaged. The two of us have agreed to put our engagement on hold and go back to dating, doing the same things that we were doing before when we were dating: holding hands, hugging, going on dates, hanging out, playing games, and simple kisses.  Don't worry, we still love each other a lot and are still together. :D This will give us time to get to know one another better and grow closer in two ways: as a couple and as best friends. As we do this for awhile, it'll help both of us know whether or not we are supposed to get married to one another. As we made this decision together, it felt as if a weight had been lifted and we both experienced immense peace. We both feel like this is God's will for us at this time and are both excited to see where this journey takes us. :)

Like unto my ancestors

Throughout the scriptures, we see many pairs or sets of brothers and most of them didn't turn out happily. 

Cain and Abel: Abel always kept the commandments and was always favored of the Lord. Cain didn't keep the commandments and was jealous of all that his brother had and the praise that he got, so Cain killed him. Not good. 

Laman, Lemuel, and Nephi: Laman and Lemuel very much enjoyed the comforts of their old lives and when their father was told by the Lord that they had to leave, they grumbled and complained. Nephi always had a positive attitude and always looked to the Lord in everything that he did. Nephi was made a spiritual teacher over his two older brothers and Laman and Lemuel got very angry because they felt like their younger brother shouldn't boss them around. They tried to kill Nephi and hurt him on almost a daily basis. 

Joseph and Hyrum Smith: Joseph became the first prophet and president of the restored church. Joseph received several revelations for the church and labored all his life to love, care and bless the lives of all the people around him. His older brother Hyrum instead of being jealous of Joseph, loved Joseph even more and stuck by his side in everything and, like his brother, was faithful to the Church, showed enthusiasm for the work of salvation, and always showed love and kindness to those around him. 

"I could pray in my heart that all my brethren were like unto my beloved brother Hyrum, who possesses the mildness of a lamb, and the integrity of a Job, and...the meekness and humility of Christ."-Joseph Smith 

Hyrum is my 4th great-grandfather and I hope that I can be more like him in all aspects of my life. He and his brother Joseph who is my 5th great uncle, are my heroes, and I want to strive to emulate their examples of faithfulness, love, loyalty, and kindness.  

Patience-hard but worth it

Lately I have not been very patient with how things have been going in my life. Friends around me are going on missions, getting married/engaged, and are having kids where as I am just a regular girl going to school getting a bachelor's degree. Then I reflected on my patriarchal blessing, priesthood blessings I've received in the past, and conversations that I've had with other people and remembered that God will give me the righteous things that I desire in His time and in His way, I just have to be patient and follow Him in faith. 

I am pleased with where I am at in my life right now. I got a 3.6 GPA last semester and have about a year left in school at BYU. I have a fantastic boss with a great crew. :) I have an amazing, loving family who loves me no matter what I do. I also have friends who love and care about me. And most importantly, I have a loving Heavenly Father and older brother, Jesus Christ who love me, understand me, and are always looking out for me and are willing to help me if I come to them. 

In summary, I love my life and am willing to trust in God and wait upon Him and trust in His timing. I know I will be blessed if I do.