A Wakeboarding Analogy

Wake-boarding: An Analogy

I wanted to share an experience that happened during my singles ward camping trip back in August. :) We were going wake-boarding and I was super scared at first doing it because I was afraid of getting hurt. The very first time I did it, I did really well...stood up for about 10-20 seconds. :D I wanted to repeat the experience so I tried again, but failed. I freaked out several times in the water because again, I was afraid of getting hurt.

There were times where I wanted to get out of the water, but Sister Twiggs kept on telling me to give it another go and to keep trying. I never did repeat the very first time of standing up, but I did get better. :) Eventually I got back into the boat and relaxed. Sister Twiggs told me that she was proud of all of the effort that I put in to improving my wake-boarding. She also told me that while I was in the water, she wasn't going to let me out of the water until she felt like I had given it my best shot. She recognized that I had the potential to be better at wake-boarding and was only going to accept my best. I didn't have to be perfect, but I did have to try my best before I could rest.


This reminds me a lot of our Heavenly Father and our Older Brother, Jesus Christ. They love us and they know us...they know us better than we know ourselves. They know that we are capable of achieving many great things because of who we are and the divine nature that we have. They give us lots of responsibilities and push us to do our best because they know we can do it! If you feel overwhelmed with all of the tasks and responsibilities that you have to do, remember that you can do it because Christ our Savior did it first! Don't settle for anything less than what you are and who you are! :)

A Month Ago Today...

Confession Time 

So not many of you know this because I didn't post it on Facebook. I needed some time to heal and to reflect on things. Last night at stake conference, a guy in my ward asked me how things were going with my boyfriend. I laughed and did a face palm because, he didn't know the truth...what had happened a month ago. One month ago, I broke up with Adam Evans...my boyfriend of just a little over a year. A lot of you might be wondering why we broke up. Now I won't give every detail, but I will give some basics. 

Following Promptings and Advice 

Back in January, I was issued a challenge. A friend of mine asked me to think about and pray about the following question: Was I willing to do what it took to stay in the relationship? Up until that point, I had been afraid to pray about whether or not this relationship was supposed to continue. I was afraid to do so because of my past relationships. With my past relationships, I had always been told that the relationships were not right. I needed an answer though. So despite my fear, I got down on my knees and asked Heavenly Father this question: Am I supposed to stay in this relationship? I asked for both yes and no and waited for how I felt with both. I felt more strongly with no. I got my answer...I was supposed to get out of the relationship. It wasn't the answer that I wanted, so I stayed in the relationship. 

Things got really rocky between us two weeks before we broke up. I became increasingly frustrated, angry, hurt, and confused. I told my boyfriend that I knew what I needed to do but that I was afraid to do it. I told my parents that I wanted to talk to my grandfather who is a patriarch. I wanted to talk to him because he had always given me sound advice in the past. My parents agreed with me that talking to my grandfather was a good idea. I talked to my grandfather about everything that had happened in our relationship since September. He taught me lessons about a blessing that I had received from another individual back in September. After he taught me those things, I felt so much peace and so much clarity. I finally understood all of my hurt, angry, and confused feelings. After talking to him, I asked him to give me a blessing to help me to have courage to do what I knew to be right. I was given the courage I needed to break up with him. I was completely calm while doing it and I felt the Lord guide my words as I spoke to Adam. 

Concluding thoughts

This was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do in my entire life. How have I been? Well, there have been good days and bad days. How do I deal with the bad days? I get down on my knees and pour my heart out to my Heavenly Father. As I pour my heart out to Heavenly Father and let Him know how I'm feeling, I feel so much peace and so much love. It's almost as if He is reaching out and wrapping His arms around me, letting me know how much He loves me and that He understands me completely. He isn't the only one who understands me completely and lends me support and strength. My Savior and Older Brother, Jesus Christ has also lent me strength. It is through Heavenly Father's love, the Savior's love, and through the Atonement, that I know on the bad days that everything is going to be okay. Throughout this whole experience, I have learned that the Atonement isn't just for repenting, it is for receiving comfort and strength when we are going through hard times and when we are faced with difficult decisions to make. When you are scared, feeling sad, or feeling alone, remember our Father in Heaven and remember our Savior. They will not leave us alone or comfortless. They will help us make the hard decisions and give us peace, love, and support every step of the way. 

Almost a Whole Year

Today marks the 11 month anniversary of a rather special event: when my boyfriend and I started dating. As the year draws to a close, I wish to reflect on a couple of special events which are our first date and Valentine's Day of this year.

First date 

11 months ago, I was working weekends in the JFSB. I was in the basement putting a classroom back together. One thing that you must know about the basement of that building is you pretty much have no cell-phone reception. Imagine my surprise when I heard and felt my phone go off in my pocket. I stopped what I was doing and looked at the text...it was from a number I didn't recognize. But, it was all good because it was my now boyfriend, asking me what time I got off of work. He then asked if I was interested in going with him to watch a film at the International Cinema an hour after work. I of course enthusiastically responded yes. I proceeded to text two of my really good friends saying that the man I had a crush on for three months finally asked me out. I called my mom to tell her and she brought me an essential item: a hairbrush. I'm very glad that she brought me a brush because my hair was in a messy ponytail. I met him at the International Cinema, my heart pounding like crazy. We proceeded to watch the movie (Twilight Samurai, which by the way is a very good movie). I put my arm away from his, not wanting to touch his arm for fear of being too forward. Later on during the movie, my arm was hurting from where I put it. I put my arm in front of his so that it wasn't touching his, making my arm much more comfortable. As the movie went on, our arms moved closer and closer towards each others'. Next thing I knew, we were holding hands. I thought to myself "Wow, that was fast!" but hey, I wasn't complaining. :) It felt really nice holding his hand. After the movie was over, neither one of us wanted the date to end so we went over to the Creamery to get ice cream. Afterwards, he walked me back to campus where my parents picked me up. Needless to say, we both enjoyed the date and thoroughly enjoyed sharing the details with our family members and roommates. 

Valentine's Day 

Valentine's Day was 2 weeks after we started dating. I knew that we were going to go out on a date that night but didn't know what exactly we were going to be doing. He texted me, asking me if I had any ideas. He also told me that he wanted the date to be a little fancy. I started freaking out after that text. I told my best friend and anyone that would listen at my ward's Valentine's Day dance that I felt like he was going to kiss me that night. After telling this to a guy in my ward, he told me that if it happens, it happens and not to worry about it and to be myself and have a good time. We decided to go to a masquerade ball. I wore a pink and red blouse and skirt...he showed up wearing a nice suit accented with red. He also showed up with flowers and chocolates. :) The dance itself wasn't a very good one. He tried doing a waltz with me, something we both failed miserably at. While we stood there on the dance floor, he kissed me for the very first time!!!!! After he kissed me, we went outside. While we were outside, he held me close and sang to me. That was the very first time he had sang to me and the very first time a man has ever sang to me. It melted my heart. :) 

It's crazy to think that for the majority of this year, I've been dating this wonderful man I call my boyfriend. Here's to 2016 and hoping for another wonderful year with him. :) Happy New Year everyone!!! 

Christmas This Year and Last Year: A Reflection

Reflections on Christmas Time

As we come to the close of another year, I can't help but think about what my life was like last year around Christmas time. Boy, was it sure different than this year. I would like to briefly talk about what my situation was last year and then talk about what my situation is like this year. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the reflections! 

Last Year 

As the year drew to a close last year, I had experienced a very interesting several months. About two and a half months prior to Christmas, my last boyfriend broke up with me. It was very hard for me because of how fast we moved and how far we had moved...we were engaged to be married. It was very hard for me to share with him my promptings from the Spirit indicating that this relationship was not meant to be. Despite the fact that I knew that the relationship wasn't right, I was still devastated when he broke up with me.  After he broke up with me, I tried so desperately to maintain a close friendship with him. Every interaction with him after he broke up with me felt off...something wasn't right. January came around and I took a class centered on the Family Proclamation. I read a principle saying that not only did I need to forgive him, I needed to forgive myself and allow myself time to heal. It was after I allowed myself time to heal and to mourn the lost relationship that something wonderful happened, a new relationship came along!! :) It's amazing what happens when you listen to what God wants you to do. 

This Year

At the end of January, I was sitting in sacrament meeting and I finally surrendered my will to God regarding the status of my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Five days later, my current boyfriend asked me out on a date to the International Cinema. Two weeks later, he kissed me for the first time. And from that point on, we were pretty steady as far as dating goes. Last year I spent Christmas and New Year's Eve at my house wondering if he liked me the way I liked him. This year, after almost 11 months of dating, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loves me the way I love him. :) I will also be spending part of Christmas and New Year's Eve with him and his family. Wow, it is so crazy to think that we've been dating for almost an entire year! It's been a crazy year for sure, lots of trials just like in any other relationship. But like all good relationships, it's had numerous golden moments also. This man has taught me so much about respecting myself and others. He's been a great example of kindness. The best example I can think of is where my calves were cramping up because of stair climbing two days in a row. He spend 30-45 minutes massaging them with oil. He didn't have to do that, but he saw how much pain I was in and wanted to help alleviate that. No matter how many times I am emotional over silly little things, he always takes the time to sit down and talk to me about it. He does little things for me to let me know that he is there to help me and support me to be my best self.  One of the best things about him is he is always able to make me smile and laugh. :) I'm so glad that I switched buildings back in 2014, otherwise I wouldn't have met him. Thank you Michelle Leavitt Gibson for suggesting that I work there! All I can say is, God is good! Trust Him people! If he's telling you to go in a different direction than you already are going, it is only because He's got something so much better prepared for you. :) This was confirmed to me when I met Adam Robert Evans and began to date him. 

Merry Christmas everyone! 

   

Happy Birthday Hyrum Smith!

In honor of my fourth-great grandfather's birthday, I thought I'd share a report that I wrote on a book about him that I wrote for my Joseph Smith and the Restoration class winter semester 2014. Hope y'all enjoy it!

I chose to do my book report on Hyrum Smith: A Life of Integrity by Jeffrey S. O’Driscoll. The reason why I chose to read this book is because Hyrum Smith is my great-great-great-great grandfather. Before reading this book, I honestly did not know a lot about him. All I knew about Hyrum was that he was the church patriarch, was inseparable from Joseph, and was martyred with Joseph in Carthage Jail. After reading this book, I have gained a deeper understanding and love for this man who was merciful, just, and kind to the very end. There are ten major points that I gained from reading this book, a lot of which are connected with each other.

Friend to Others

Hyrum was a friend to everyone, even to those he did not know very well. In a letter to his aunt, he talked about a woman whose husband turned her away naked and destitute because she was weak and unable to work (pg. 285). It does not say in this passage how well Hyrum knew the woman, but it didn’t matter. Hyrum lent his assistance to her and prosecuted the man who hurt her.

In the same part of the book about the turned away woman, the author tells of an instance where Hyrum went out of his way to render service to a woman in the church. Service is a very important part of friendship. We sometimes go beyond the call of duty to serve our friends because we love them and care about their well-being. In this instance, a woman had had a peculiar dream and wanted Hyrum to interpret it but because of the number of visitors at Hyrum’s house, kept on getting rescheduled. Rather than tell her just to leave it alone or to keep rescheduling it, Hyrum went over to her house and took a long carriage ride with her and her husband, interpreting the dream, thus showing how a true friend would behave.

Steadfast and immovable in church service

“(Hyrum) was willing to set aside whatever he was doing in order to see to the needs of the one” (pg. 39). While on his way back from Colesville, he ran into Parley P. Pratt who was eager to hear the gospel. After a lengthy discussion and allowing him to spend the night, rather than have him go off on his own, Hyrum walked 22 miles with him so that he could be baptized by Oliver Cowdery. Hyrum probably had other things to do and other people to see, yet he set all of that aside to help a fellow brother join the church. There was another instance where Hyrum was extremely sick and yet traveled a great distance to Chariton in order to keep a teaching appointment.

“By 10 AM the next day, Hyrum was already en route to Colesville with his family” (pg. 41). Hyrum wanted to know what the Lord wanted him to do. Joseph inquired for him and Hyrum received the revelation that he was to move to Colesville in order to save his life. What amazes me with this story is that Hyrum did not hesitate to follow this prompting. He immediately packed up all of his belongings, got his family ready, and left immediately. He trusted in the Lord and was blessed for it, something every missionary should do and is given if they trust in Him.

All of these stories speak of missionary work. Missionaries all over the world preach the gospel in a variety of circumstances. Sometimes the circumstances they preach in are not ideal. Missionaries who are truly devoted disciples of Christ will drop everything they are doing to bring souls unto him. Hyrum was in every aspect, a devoted disciple of Christ and a wonderful missionary.

“Thy duty is unto the church forever”

One thing that I didn’t even consider before finishing this book was that forever also meant in the premortal existence. According to the author of this book and according to section 138 of the Doctrine and Covenants, Hyrum was a choice spirit who was “prepared to come forth in the due time of the Lord to labor in his vineyard for the salvation of the souls of men” (pg. 364). Hyrum fulfilled this revelation in many ways. He was first and foremost, a missionary. He was also assistant President of the Church and Church patriarch. He fulfilled his duty by always standing up for what was right, even if it wasn’t very popular.

Always followed the promptings of the Spirit

I already told one instance of where Hyrum followed the promptings of the Sprit, now I will share another one. In January of 1830, Hyrum had a feeling that something wasn’t going right at the printing office (pg. 30). Oliver Cowdery was hesitant to go in and check because it was Sunday. Hyrum left at once to go to the printing office because he could not ignore that prompting he received. His quick acting turned out to be a blessing because he with the help of his brother and father, stopped Abner Cole from wrongfully printing the Book of Mormon manuscripts in his paper.

Put his trust in the Lord always

“My confidence in God, was likewise unshaken. I knew that he could…deliver us out of the hands of our enemies; and in his own due time he did so, for which I desire to bless and praise his holy name” (pg. 376). Hyrum wrote this to his wife Mary while in Liberty Jail. He knew that God has/had all power and since he had the power to deliver him once, He will certainly do it again. Hyrum confided in Joseph that he believed they should go to Carthage and give themselves up and that God would deliver them. After reading page 376, I now know what he meant by that. “One thing is sure; all things will work for the good of them that love God” (pg. 376). Hyrum knew that God blesses all who follow Him in faith. He knew based on scripture that God would one day give to all who suffer rest, either in this life or in the life to come. You just have to hold on in faith, trusting God’s plan for you, and He will deliver you. Hyrum and Joseph did just that, were faithful to the very end, and God gave them rest from all the troubles that they went through because of their enduring faithfulness to Him and His gospel.

Meek and Submissive

One of the things that really impressed me about Hyrum was how submissive he was and by extension, how easily he accepted correction. Earlier in the book, Hyrum gives a speech before the entire congregation about how important the scriptures are and how we should always rely on them for authority in church matters. Brigham Young got up with all of the books of scripture and said that he would rather have a living oracle than all of the books of scripture put together. Hyrum realized that he was being corrected. Instead of being angry at being corrected in front of a large audience and storming away, he humbly accepted the correction and revised his previous statement to align more with Brigham Young’s.

Another instance where Hyrum was submissive was over the doctrine of plural marriage. Hyrum at first despised the doctrine of plural marriage and even sweated over what Joseph was asking him to do about it. Rather than leave the church like William Law over the matter, he did the right thing; he humbled himself enough to kneel down in prayer and ask for a witness of the truthfulness of this doctrine which he did receive. The mark of a true disciple/prophet/apostle is being willing to humble yourself enough to know the truth of His gospel. Rather than hating Joseph for the counsel he gave, he humbled himself to know of its truthfulness.

Merciful judge with a big soul

There were two notable instances where Hyrum showed great mercy towards individuals in the figurative chair of doubt and shame: John C. Bennett and Sidney Rigdon. Bennett pleaded for forgiveness and Hyrum agreed to wait to give him a trial (pg. 262). Rigdon had been inactive for a very long time and Joseph wanted to release him and possibly excommunicate him. Hyrum pleaded with Joseph to show mercy, believing that Sidney would change. According to a gentleman by the name of Wandle, Hyrum worked with Sidney for months to try and get him to come back to activity in the church (pg. 300). Hyrum believed that you shouldn’t let prejudice arise, speak of anyone disrespectfully, or destroy one another (pgs 321-323). The reason why he felt this way is because he felt extreme pain at the thought of losing someone forever.

All of these stories and quotes are beautiful. Hyrum reminds me a lot of the Savior. Christ showed mercy unto all, saint and sinner alike. He gave multiple chances to everyone to repent and become clean through His Atonement. Even unto death, the Savior showed mercy unto His killers, believing that they are better men than how they were presently acting. Christ gave everyone second chances because He like His Father loved everyone and couldn’t bear the thought of losing even just one to hell. Hyrum is a lot like the Savior. He came to love nearly everyone he came into contact with and would air on the side of mercy and even fight to the death to save them. Why did he do this? It’s because of his love for them and for his ability to see others as God does, as precious children worthy of saving and fighting for.
Integrity

The author of this book and several others who knew Hyrum described him as a man of integrity. I Googled what the definition of integrity was and it says that integrity is being honest and having strong moral principles. Hyrum truly was a man of integrity. He was converted to the gospel. He understood the principles in their truest form and constantly strived to uphold them even if others didn’t agree with him. He understood what the purpose of life was: to help others come unto Christ and he did everything in his power to uphold that, even though it cost him time, favors of others, and ultimately, his life.

Forgotten prophet of the Restoration

In the introduction of this book, the author lists qualities that make Hyrum a forgotten prophet of the restoration: humility, faithfulness, and firmness, things I have already mentioned. The last quality that the author mentions is being vocal when necessary on matters of doctrine. On pages 265-267, Hyrum talks about the nature of God, how he was once as we are, and about the wise nature of the word of Wisdom. He taught that any man who says that the word of Wisdom is foolish will be overthrown. These doctrines may have seemed controversial to some and yet, he was firm in his manner of teaching. He taught as God wanted him to teach and never flinched away from teaching those divine truths.

“Joseph, I cannot leave you”

Hyrum and Joseph were inseparable to the very end. Hyrum showed his devoted love for his little brother even at a very young age when Joseph was suffering of leg pain. He offered to take his mother’s place watching over him and actually took his leg and held it to try and relieve some of the pain (pgs. 7-8).

Before Joseph and Hyrum were called to go to Carthage, both of them had already been arrested and acquitted multiple times. On June 20, 1844, Joseph told Hyrum to catch the nearest steamboat home so that he could be with his family. Hyrum replied “Joseph, I can’t leave you.” Joseph kept on expressing his wish that Hyrum would leave so that when he died, Hyrum could take his place and avenge him. Joseph finally admitted that he wished Hyrum would leave so that he would feel better about dying. Joseph and Hyrum preached together, lived together, fought together, and eventually died together. Like Joseph’s love for him, Hyrum loved his little brother with a deep love stronger than death and couldn’t bear the thought of being separated from him.

Conclusion

Hyrum Smith’s dedication to upholding principles of the gospel, his mercy unto others, and his unwavering friendship and loyalty to those in need truly made him a man worth remembering, worth honoring. He truly was the forgotten prophet of the Restoration. I love this man with all of my heart and I am grateful for the chance that I had to study and get to know him better. 

I would also like to add that I see a lot of myself in him. Two characteristics that I identify the most with are his unwavering loyalty to those he loves and holds dear and his desire to never give up on anyone. I am a lot like him in this regard. I am fiercely loyal to those that I love and I like him would fight to the death to save those that I care about. Happy Birthday Hyrum!!! 

My Relationship-Reflections + Change

Our Relationship 

As most of you know, I have been dating Bryan Davis (a super amazing guy) since April 11th of this year. We've really enjoyed dating and getting to know one another better throughout our courtship together. On July 18 in Nauvoo, Illinois, he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. After a few minutes of standing there in complete shock (did not see it coming), I said yes. I then proceeded to tell him doubts and concerns that I had throughout the course of our courtship together. He then gave me two options, either we proceed as we have been doing before as boyfriend and girlfriend, or we proceed forward as engaged and if something comes up to indicate that we are not supposed to be together, we could break it off. The second option felt so right, so I told him that I would still marry him, which made both of us very happy.

The trip that we went on allowed us to grow closer together, both as a couple and as best friends. We had lots of laughter, tears, games, traveling, and overall, just really good times which I will cherish forever. I came home on August 3rd. Around August 5th, those doubts came back and I started questioning whether or not we were doing the right thing. I felt super confused because of all of the mixed feelings that I had been experiencing and was concerned that he was not feeling the same way. 2-3 weeks later, Bryan started experiencing the same feelings that I was having. My prayer had been that we would be able to move forward with this relationship in the way that God wants us to. His prayer was that I would experience the same promptings that he was having. We feel like we maybe rushed into getting engaged. The two of us have agreed to put our engagement on hold and go back to dating, doing the same things that we were doing before when we were dating: holding hands, hugging, going on dates, hanging out, playing games, and simple kisses.  Don't worry, we still love each other a lot and are still together. :D This will give us time to get to know one another better and grow closer in two ways: as a couple and as best friends. As we do this for awhile, it'll help both of us know whether or not we are supposed to get married to one another. As we made this decision together, it felt as if a weight had been lifted and we both experienced immense peace. We both feel like this is God's will for us at this time and are both excited to see where this journey takes us. :)

Like unto my ancestors

Throughout the scriptures, we see many pairs or sets of brothers and most of them didn't turn out happily. 

Cain and Abel: Abel always kept the commandments and was always favored of the Lord. Cain didn't keep the commandments and was jealous of all that his brother had and the praise that he got, so Cain killed him. Not good. 

Laman, Lemuel, and Nephi: Laman and Lemuel very much enjoyed the comforts of their old lives and when their father was told by the Lord that they had to leave, they grumbled and complained. Nephi always had a positive attitude and always looked to the Lord in everything that he did. Nephi was made a spiritual teacher over his two older brothers and Laman and Lemuel got very angry because they felt like their younger brother shouldn't boss them around. They tried to kill Nephi and hurt him on almost a daily basis. 

Joseph and Hyrum Smith: Joseph became the first prophet and president of the restored church. Joseph received several revelations for the church and labored all his life to love, care and bless the lives of all the people around him. His older brother Hyrum instead of being jealous of Joseph, loved Joseph even more and stuck by his side in everything and, like his brother, was faithful to the Church, showed enthusiasm for the work of salvation, and always showed love and kindness to those around him. 

"I could pray in my heart that all my brethren were like unto my beloved brother Hyrum, who possesses the mildness of a lamb, and the integrity of a Job, and...the meekness and humility of Christ."-Joseph Smith 

Hyrum is my 4th great-grandfather and I hope that I can be more like him in all aspects of my life. He and his brother Joseph who is my 5th great uncle, are my heroes, and I want to strive to emulate their examples of faithfulness, love, loyalty, and kindness.